Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Making a Withdrawal: A How To with Kooter and The Pizza Guy

"Wake up, cupcake!" A man screams in agony from a cigarette being put out on his forehead. "Oh quit being such a baby! See, nothing I have done to you hurts that bad!" The maniac takes an extremely large knife and slices his own forehead with it, letting the blood seep down his face all the while cackling. The victim struggles and tries to scream but the gag in his mouth prevents him. He glances upward to notice he is suspended by chains attached to his wrists. "OWW SHIT! OK...that did kinda hurt...daddy needs more juice...hang on a second...oh....haha...HAHA! GET IT? DO YOU GET IT? YOU'RE HANGING FROM THE ROOF! Oh I am just too much sometimes hee hee," the psychopath mutters as he makes his way to a sort of counter top covered in white powder.

The hostage takes a moment to examine his captor. His face is scruffy, a dirty mohawk with a bad dye job sits on top of his somewhat shaved head. He is shirtless revealing a scar covered body, he isn't exactly built, but fit in an odd way. His mannerisms show a hint of intelligence behind his obvious madness. This guy is skilled, he has done this before...several times.

The room they are in cannot be any bigger than a cheap apartment, everything is out in the open except for a small hallway leading to another room. The room the man hangs in is filthy, empty pizza boxes, pill bottles, whiskey bottles, various dismantled electronics, and a wall adorned with.....'tools.' The whole room is lit by artificial lighting, no windows at all to let in any sun. A small whirring can be heard in the distance, possibly that of a generator.

The lunatic buries his head in a mountain of the white substance and breathes in deeply. "WOOOOOOOH YEAH! I'M BACK BABY!" he screams in excitement. Pressing the knife underneath the man's left eye, the maniac continues his interrogation, " more time...why...oh why have you been moving large amounts of cash from one account and trans...oh fuck it, I don't get paid enough to pay attention, WHO DO YOU WORK FOR?!" The man tries to respond a muffled response but at that instant a siren blares in the room. "AH SHIT DAMMIT!" Startled, the captor loses balance and accidentally slices the guy's cheek. " bad..."

A speaker blares, "Kooter, I have your usual pizza here, and you changed the door code again so can you let me in?"
"PIZZA IS HERE! I FORGOT! I hope you're hungry pal!" Kooter runs towards the door like a kid running for ice cream. The hostage had a multitude of thoughts running through his head, he didn't know if to be scared, or upset that his captor screws around too much.

"Nice to see you too, Kooter..." the pizza guy remarks to the lunatic stuffing his face, "By the way, Mr. McDaniels had a message for you..." Kooter stopped and looked deadly serious. "Enzo! Empty your pockets now!" Kooter demanded. "That isn't my name, its..." "NOW!" With a sigh, Enzo reached into his pocket and hands Kooter his cell phone, "Please...its my fifth phone this week...oh great that's ok too..." Kooter had already smashed it on the ground. "What have I told you about them listening and tracking you here?!" The pizza guy just walks past Kooter into the 'chamber' saying "Sup?" to the hostage. "Your payment is in the giant stuffed rabbit as usual. AND DON'T TAKE MORE THAN THE USUAL 5 GRAND! I know exactly how much is in there...and bring me the radio!"

"Whatever, Kooter....fucking psycho," he mutters. "What did you say?!" "I are a psychic!" "Damn right I am! This metal plate isn't just for show!" The hostage is strangely enamored with the exchange between the two, all while trying to get Enzo's attention to help him.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE THE WRONG GUY?!" Kooter screams into the receiver. A voice on the other side responds, "Dammit Kooter! I told you from the East Branch Bank...he is from the WEST Branch! Do you not listen?" Holding the radio in front of his mouth, "You know I dropped out of school, Jack! I can't read! What do I do with him?!" "I don't care what you do, just fix this!"

Kooter looks over to Enzo, who is eating his pizza, then looks back at the hostage. "Well my friend it seems I screwed up, I wasn't supposed to kidnap you. Oh'll give my condolences to the missus wontcha?" Kooter says as he walks over to the over joyed hostage, finally seeing some sort of hope of freedom from this madman. "Now...I am going to let you go...and you aren't going to tell anyone, ok? Or that beautiful family of yours will all it pal?" Tearfully the guy nods and as Kooter takes off his gag, tries to thank him. "Shhhh," the maniac presses a finger to his lips, "don't speak...don't ruin the moment....and give me your coat, I like it." The man hurriedly removes the coat and throws it to Kooter.

The psychopath points to a staircase that leads to a door, "Now go! Be free! I'll miss you Mister Bank Man!" Without thinking the man runs to the door and sprints outside. It seems he was being held captive underground in a bunker, nothing but flat plains all around him. He just wants to go home and hold his wife, and to escape this hell. He sees both Kooter and Enzo standing in the doorway and runs in the opposite direction.


Chunks and a red mist rain down.

"You weren't going to tell him about the landmines where you..."
"I thought about it....buuuuuut I figured it would be more special this way. Now get out of my house Enzo!"
"Always a pleasure, Kooter....I always know where I can find two lifetimes of nightmare fuel if I need it..." The heavy iron door slams behind the pizza delivery guy as he carefully makes his way past all of the traps back to the road.

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Please keep it professional, because I don't know what he might do.